I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
