Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
