I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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