She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
