I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
