The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
