Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
