Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks

(1-801): View more from Utah

wait.... you do what?

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(407): View more from Florida

I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING

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(705): View more from Ontario

He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love

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(315): View more from New York

Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.

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