I wanna bring you to show and tell
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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