I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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