My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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