im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
