Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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