Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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