Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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