Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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