Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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