I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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