We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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