Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
