She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
