They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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