you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i now understand why vodka
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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