no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
