I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
