woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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