By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
