I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
