My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have post one night stand depression
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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