Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
