so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
