I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
