capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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