just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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