So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
