How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
