Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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