He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
