Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
