I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
