Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
