i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
