i permit you to call me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
