I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
