I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
