I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
