I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
