My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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