NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
