he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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