Swine flu is the new snow day.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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